I Cried Today
What happens when you trip and fall and land on your face? When you are the motivator, the one everyone turns to for encouragement? Who Motivates you? Yes I cried today and that is okay, because I am human.
Every once and awhile you get to a point where it becomes hard to stay as positive as everything thinks you are all of the time. Sure you can keep posting Motivation Monday posts knowing that others depend on your inspiration and motivation to get their own lives in check. But what happens when you are not motivated? How do you get motivated? Does the exhaustion of trying to constantly motivate others ever wear you down?
I don’t try to be an inspiration or motivational cheerleader to others, honestly I don’t. I started this year documenting my life more and some of the struggles I go through with my running and activities. Somehow it transformed into how I live my life, my free spirited attitude towards everything and my travels. I get emails about how others live vicariously through me and to keep it up. I started posting #MotivationMonday posts on facebook and instagram and relating my sport activities to life experiences and if I can run a stupid race, then you can do whatever it is you need to do in life. The problem I find is that I feel like I am boasting or bragging and saying “hey look at me”, which is the farthest from the thing I want to do.
So I stopped going into detail of my races, I stopped posting deep motivational posts and I went generic if I do them at all. I mean who am I to try and motivate others? I am pretty good at it in person, after all I am a damn good wrestling coach if I do say so myself.
Back to my original question, how do you get motivated when you are supposed to be the one motivating others? Lately I have not been motivated to do much of anything. I stopped working out, stopped running, I barely sleep and I just lay in bed watching TV on my days off. I know you may think this does not sound like the guy you know, but sometimes you don’t post the bad things on Facebook and other social media, because to me it just looks like a cry for attention. So all you really see are the great, life is good type stuff. But I have a ton of work related items weighing me down, personal life decisions that need to be made and it feels like a new path to take. Scary stuff for most people and admitting failure is a hard thing to do. So how does one stay positive? I see my peers posting positive motivation stuff, but to me it just comes off as BLAH…I see them post the same type of pictures and the same type of messages and it does not make me want to run through a wall.
I had a surge of energy today, I actually got some motivation from a place I least expected it, but should have known all along. Then like a punch in the gut, I learned that not only did I not know about one friend passing away in May, another closer friend lost a battle to pancreatic cancer and passed in April of this past year. I broke down, I feel like a horrible friend for not paying closer attention and staying in contact. So I snapped back and trying to not be depressed I started writing this blog.
I know what I need to do, I need to get off my ass and get moving. I need to get the mindset that I had during my UltraBeast and 26 mile tail run, that never stop until you are dead mentality. I need to work harder and out work everyone. I need to go for a run and clear my mind because that is where I think the best. I need to stop worrying about failing, bills and what may or may not happen in the future and start taking it one day at a time.
Sometimes it is harder to take your own advice then you may think. I find comfort in knowing my friend Michelle made the most out her final months in life and chose to live it to the fullest. I am drawing strength from her. Her final video I had to share and post below. I miss our lunches and long talks of her and her husband Mr. Wonderful. We shared the love of Harleys and touring the country and how we were going to change the world. She did change the world, she wrote her book, she created an amazing business and her outlook on life is amazing.
I wanted to find how you get motivated when you are the motivator? Well I found it, you take the cue of someone who no matter what they are going through, makes life just a little bit better for others. Rest in Peace my friend, thank you for changing my life for the better. I raise my glass of your elixir of life.
I need to go do some handstands and eat some pie!
My name is Travis and I talk to strangers