Why Boobies Make the World a Better Place!
Living in Dallas, TX which arguably has the 3rd highest number of plastic surgeries behind Los Angeles and New York respectively, it is no surprise why there is such a fascination with the breast. Call them what you want, breasts, boobies, tat-ta’s, jugs, it doesn’t matter they all mean the same thing. The world is truly a better place with boobies in it, I mean New Orleans practically has a festival just for the sake of showing your boobies.
From the time we are born, 74% of us start out being breast fed. At 6-months, 43% of us are still being nourished and suckling from the fresh milk from our mothers. If you are lucky, at 12 months 23% of you are still enjoying the milk directly from the tap. That is just the national average, if you live in Texas we are slightly higher at 78%, 48%, & 25%. Maybe that is because we have such a fascination here our moms feel they have to provide us with more exposure to knock it into our head on just how important they are.
I mean we do live in a new world where the number one graduation present for young females is no longer a new car or trip to Cancun, no it is breast augmentation. In 2007 there were 7,882 females 18 and younger which had a type of breast surgery. Not surprising since 2006 breast augmentation surgery has been the number one type of plastic surgery preformed. It knocked lipo down to number three and never looked back. Although in 2008 there was an 11% drop off in surgeries due to the recession, but hey nearly 355,000 surgeries were preformed accordingly to American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Well that is such great news to me and my fellow bro-nation!
With so many women changing their breasts, there has to be a reason why. Well, obviously it makes them feel better and there is nothing like an awesome dose of self-esteem to kick start your social lifestyle. I mean really it is a win/win situation for all of us, when you (females) feel good about yourself, you are happy and that happiness means we are rewarded more! We all know when your woman is not feeling well due to the lack of self esteem that equals no sex life. So there you have it, boob jobs equal more sex. Win!
Okay, so maybe I took the self esteem part and swayed the information to my favor (yay me), but there is another bunch of stats you may find intriguing. According to the United States Department of Labor in 2008, 59% of women in the United States over the age of 16 are in the work force. That equals 46% of the total workforce. That is a lot of boobies out there makin’ the bacon! In today’s recession women can not afford to get by on their boobies alone, they actually have to work and be productive. So with that being said, what a perfect woman we are building, one that is smart and boob-a-licious! Here comes that self esteem thing again, when you feel good, we all know you are more productive, you are healthier and fit. So I say, if you are not going to get a boob job for personal selfish reasons, then do it for your job!
On the flip side, women love good man boobies too. I am not talking about the droopy, saggy man boobs you are thinking about but rather the sculpted, chiseled chest. Men like to show off their boobies just as much as the girls do, don’t let us fool you. It is actually legal for us to walk around outside without a shirt on, how crazy is that? Why do you think we like to spend so much time it the gym bench pressing and doing push-ups? Why do you think we wear shirts a size too small? For the exact same reason you women do, we want you to take notice of our pecks. We also are more productive when we feel our man boobies are impressive.
Since it is becoming very obvious (At least to me) boobies make the world go around (new Coca-Cola campaign – Have a Coke, cop a feel and a smile!) let us not forget our fallen boobies. I am not making a joke here or being lighthearted, it is time to get serious. Breast Cancer is a huge issue and is one that is very close to me. The latest stats released say that 97% of breast cancer deaths are in women 40 years old and older with the average age being 61 at time of diagnosis. Please support your local Susan G. Komen chapter and help us all race for the cure. My Aunt was diagnosed this past year and I am participating as a “Pink Warrior” and doing my part to help Save the Ta-Ta’s!
So why do boobies make the world a better place? Well, let’s wrap up what we have learned. They feed us, they give women a better self esteem about themselves (men too) and we (men) get more sex with when your woman loves her breasts. They are great to look at, we (men) enjoy playing with them, and last but not least, they make us more productive at work. Don’t forget to do your part in making sure all boobies are saved and never have to be taken away from us!
My Name is Travis and I talk to strangers